Waife, the Ineffective

I belive I've discovered the basic problems with my wizard that I play on most Sunday afternoons.  If you're not aware, I'm referring to Dungeons and Dragons.  Part of me wants to have Waife do something that will cause him to be killed.  Part of me thinks such an action just to reroll a character is a cheap way to solve my wizard.

Problem One:  Dice Rolls

I am a horrible roller of dice.  For example: The result of five d20 rolls:  3, 6, 4, 17, 9.  The basic game mechanic of DnD is roll a d20 and the higher the better.  If the above is indicative of my rolling (and it is), there is no way I will be effective with any gaming system using d20s.  Case in point, the attack roll I just made was a 1 (on a d20).  Rolling damage dice (d6, d8, d10s for me) isn't much better.

Problem Two:  Character Build

"Breaking" characters is beyond my skill level.  Making effective characters in terms of abilities and damage is rare for me.  Waife is an average character for me.  Sometimes I am lucky enough to create more effective characters.  Even if my next wizard is statistically powerful, Problem One will trump any build advantages.

Problem Three:  Character Story / Life

Unless I'm running a game, I can rarely remember important points of the story from week to week (even with taking campaign notes).  Insufficient game memory turns Waife into a dice rolling machine rather than a living, breathing character.  An inherent problem with Waife is that I never thought through a story for him, since I rejoined a game in the middle of a campaign.  I have a basic idea of who he is, but not a quality back story.  I am working on a soution for that--we'll see if it comes to fruition.  I can't remember the last time I was creative enough to create a character with which I could actually be "in character."  That's probably correlated with my lack of text and music composition in the last ten years.

I wrote about Waife a while ago.  Despite the above text, it just confirms that the enjoyment of DnD for me must be the camraderie of my friends that play.  Otherwise, I'd have to arguement that I must enjoy my failure of playing the game.  It seems odd to enjoy failure.